Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Open Letter: In defense of single ladies against married women (Must-Read)

This letter has been making the rounds and some peole are saying the writer wrote it specifically because Peter Okoye's wife Lola Omotayo and actress Caroline Dajuma who took to social media to accuse call out single girls chasing after their husbands. Read on...

Dear Married Woman,

These couple of days I have read messages on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and the likes and as much as I have tried to bridle my tongue and not say anything; just let it slide, my emotion has chosen to betray me.

So today I stand in defence of all unjustly stigmatised Single ladies. To you married woman who has taken to the social media to air her grievances, please re-direct your energy into bridling your erring husband.

More than half of the time, these men are the ones who pursue single girls unrelentingly, luring them with the worldly goodies the Good Lord has bequeathed on them. And let me let you know what you'd never hear from your husband, they speak ill of you. Half the time, the reason they are still with you is because of our own conscious effort not to break another girl's home as we look forward to having ours.

I would share with you my most recent experience. I was introduced to a visually-impaired man who promised to help me secure a job.

Before I met him, this man had already overwhelmed me with calls and messages.
The only reason I chose to keep my pre-arranged meeting with him was because my sister had been trying extra hard to help me secure a job. So as not to seem "picky" and unwilling to work, I met with him. He told me outrightly that aside from him being married, blind and a Christian what else would stop me from dating him. So I asked if those reasons he gave were not genuine enough. He said they were not. That except if I could come up with something else, then I had no reason but to go out with him.

His calls and messages became incessant after then. I met with him twice after then, out of pity and I tell you he was a little aggressive too. Then his wife stumbled on his messages. I wished I had kept her messages to me.

When they first started coming in, I spoke with the husband about them, he dismissed my worries with a laugh. When I could not take them anymore, I called her up. I told her the deal I had with her husband and I assured that she had nothing to worry about. That I swear on the good things that are to come my way that I was not there to break her home.

I knew it was time to give up whatever prospect of securing a job that laid on that path. I do not think I have met anyone as persistent as this man. He would call me unendingly. He told me he had solved his wife's financial problems and was that not why she married him in the first place. And there I was, I had not even asked him for as much as a phone top-up since we met. He kept reeling out what he had done for her.

Anyway when I could not stick the drama again, I stopped picking his calls. After a while he stopped calling too. Then out of the blues, about three months later, I got a message from the wife cursing me for trying to break her home yet again. It was the Holy Month for me and I just woke up to take my suhoor. It took all the will in me not to respond. But after that period, I forwarded the message to her husband and of course I got no response.

Some couple of months later I received another message from her; filled with curses on me and my family members. I had stopped speaking to the husband for about six months then and here she was accusing me of what I did not know about. I made up my mind I had had enough. So I sent her a "back-to-sender" message.

And I threatened to snatch her husband if this continued. Ironically, I received a message from her husband stating "I heard you are reconsidering your position. Am I getting a Yes now?"… Can you imagine?

This is just one of the many I have experienced as it is fairly recent. I assure you, Dear Married woman that I get to hear all about your whims, your shortcomings and why he even chose to marry you. Rather than coming to Twitter, Instagram and the likes to rant, focus your energy on distracting your husband's attention from the single lady that you see as a threat. Learn from Hilary Clinton. Buy her book "Hard Choices" and learn. Half the time, the real threat is your husband. Get your husband off my back, get a rein and bridle him. I am not the reason his eyes have chosen to rove. I look good for the available single guy. I have got a brand to market, my singleness. Look for yours. I am faithful to CocaCola not even the allurement held by a chilled bottle of Pepsi would make me go near it because it is "inferior" in taste as far as I am concerned. Stop this undue stigmatisation. We Harassed Single Girls have had it up to "here" with your "husband-snatcher" branding franchise.

Yours
A pissed single girl

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